One day last week I was sitting at home with naught to do. It was a beautiful 98˚ outside, and only 70% humidity, so of course I couldn’t stay indoors. I was in the mood to bake. I decided to go see the George Washington Carver National Monument.
I’ve actually been there many times. It’s cool. I used to live two miles from it, and I never went. Now I live 30 minutes away and every time I drive by it I say “Oh dang, I should go there!” Which sounds more redneck, “dang” or “dern?” I think dang does. Dern sounds more South to me. Dang is a word I hear a lot in the Midwest, and I roll my eyes in secret every time. When I catch myself using it I make sure to cry that night. I put it on my calendar. Cry tonight, dummy. I think “darn” is pretty safe to use, but I rarely remember.
Of course, if you’re going to fake swear, why not just swear for real? Because it’s not socially acceptable, that’s why. But I do like to swear. It feels so daring and romantic. I figure just save everyone the trouble and go for the real swear words. Except sometimes I like to say “frick.” I think it’s funny. Like if you just yell it out, “Frick!” That’s funny. Or if you say “I don’t give a frick.” It doesn’t really roll off the tongue, which is why it’s so funny.
Anyway, I don’t even remember what the frick (SEE!) I was talking about. I should probably wrap this up with some crap about George Washington Carver. Plus I’m about to hit the 300-word mark, and that’s the point where you start to lose a reader’s interest. I think. I don’t know, I actually just made that rule up. Does anyone still like Arrested Development? I’m proud to say this is my least-focused blog post ever. Blah blah blah, here are some pictures. This was a lot of fun to write. I’ve turned in papers like this.
Carver rules
A bridge on the nature walk
Moses Carver's house
A low tree branch helped me out on this one
Thanks, Mose